hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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