and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
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CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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