If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You took a bar mat shot.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
