Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
