Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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