Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
