For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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