He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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