you didnt know i had herpes?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize