You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
