Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
