We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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