forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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