The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
