dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
