Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
