Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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