Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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