Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
