I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
