Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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