My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize