I am spending my child support on dildos
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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