I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize