speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
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so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"