so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.