What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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