My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
