just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize