We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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