Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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