no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
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My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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