dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
