this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
