can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
