i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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