too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
