apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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