well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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