You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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