That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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