i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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