the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
