I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
