Is it because I queefed?
my shit smells like andre
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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