Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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