Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
