i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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