ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
