Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize