He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
