so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
try to milk me bitch
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