Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
