a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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