My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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