last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
