Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
