is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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