I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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