I just gift wrapped bread.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be