We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.