DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
