You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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