I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
