guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
