My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it glows. i had to have it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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