I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Green mimosas i think yes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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